


Hers for His

by knel03



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, Dark, Dark Hermione Granger, Flashbacks, Gore, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Post-War, Rituals, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knel03/pseuds/knel03
Summary: There's nothing holding Hermione Granger back anymore. No one tying her to the world. No silly morals standing in her way. The one thing she truly needed was ripped away from her without a second glance. No goodbye. No final chance. Just torn apart, leaving her to deal with the broken pieces. She was left with complete and utter coldness and she plans to get her warmth back. Nothing will stand in the way of that.Post-War!Hermione Granger and flashbacks to Student!Hermione Granger
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 27
Kudos: 37





	1. Scotland, 2003

_Not again. I don't have time for this._

Hermione glances down at the dead animal in disgust. The pale yellow bird laid crushed and bloodied at her feet. She lets out a frustrated sigh and rubs the back of her neck as she heads back into her small cottage.

"Stupid, bloody bird. Completely useless," she mutters to herself. She swings the door open and makes her way over to the cluttered table.

She hastily grabs her latest research and starts to scribble out the last experiment.

 _What went wrong? Chrysanthemums? Check. Salt circle? Check. Dragon scales? Check. Sacrifice? Check._ "I even made the death painful this time. _What. Went. Wrong?_ " She spits through gritted teeth.

Letting out a frustrated scream, she shoves all of the papers off the table and whips out her wand.

" _Incendio_!" She screams and the table quickly bursts into flames. She watches for a moment with vacant eyes as the last five years of her life burns away. The smell of burnt paper and ink filling her nose and lungs.

Again, she lets out a sigh and dissipates the fire. She easily levitates the ashes into the corner of the room where the pile had been steadily growing from previous tantrums. She rips her hair out from the tight bun she had it in and rubs her fingers over her scalp. Realizing she still had blood splattered over her front, she decides to go shower and get ready for her weekly trip into the city.

Hermione doesn't bother looking at the mirror in the hall as she walks to her room. She knows that if the mirror itself wasn't already broken, the thing staring back at her in it would be.

She no longer has the confident stride she did all those years ago at school. That stupid thirteen-year-old girl had too much hope. Too much naive light blinding her. She truly believed she had it all. Stupid girl. She had no idea.

Now as she walks, you can see someone who has been through too much. Seen too much. A woman who had nothing left. Nothing to live for.

Hermione shakes out of those pointless thoughts and takes her quick and mindless shower. It's a waste of time to bask in the warmth of the water. There was no point trying to warm up when all she ever felt was cold. Her sun had left and taken all the warmth and color it was supposed to bring. She had things to do. Things that were too important to let the discomfort of the cold interrupt her.

Shutting off the water, she steps out and grabs her towel. Before wrapping it around herself, she takes a minute to slide her fingers over the frayed corner. She did this every time she used this towel. It used to make her cry. Now she doesn't remember what it felt like to have wet cheeks. Unless they were wet with blood, of course.

She dries off quickly and slips on her clothes. Simple muggle jeans a black sweater were fine for going into the city. She just needed more ingredients.

After putting her thinning hair back up into its tight bun, Hermione walks outside to the apparating point. She ignores the bird from earlier and the pile of decay slightly farther away as she walks. Needs to get rid of it soon. Doesn't want another nasty vulture problem.

The crunch of the dead leaves beneath her feet is the only sound she hears before her own crack of apparition.

***

The muggle city is always loud and Hermione lets her eyes close and her head fall back as she listens. She's constantly surrounded by silence and she relishes in the moments she gets to be filled with chaotic noise. She slowly blinks and sets her shoulders knowing she has work to do.

She sets off for the first shop easily maneuvering her way through the crowd. She comes here every weekend so she has the course memorized by now. She doesn't glance around for fear of making eye contact with anyone. Contact leads to conversations and she isn't sure she knows how to do that anymore. Not really.

Stepping into the familiar shop, Hermione takes a deep breath, enjoying the smell of old books and spices. The old bookstore keeper knows not to speak to her now. The first few times Hermione came, the frail woman tried to hold a pleasant conversation. But Hermione would either send her a nasty look and turn away or reply with very short words.

She walks over to the section on myths and folklore. Even though this was a muggle store, a lot of the stories passed down were based on some sliver of truth. Hermione figures that if she can put some bits and pieces together, something will work. Something _has_ to work.

She skims her fingers down the spines of the old tomes, hoping to find something she hadn't yet read. It was getting more difficult here which meant she probably needed to move on soon. She usually only stayed in a certain muggle area for a year at a time, but she really liked it here. It was quiet and easy and comfortable. But it had been almost two years, and she knows they'll find her soon.

Her fingers stop over an emerald green spine and her brows furrow. She had never seen this one before, so she quickly pulls it out and reads the cover.

_The Mythological Mystery of the Resurrection Riddle_

She snorts to herself. _Nice alliterations there._ She flips open the cover, knowing she'll buy it no matter what its contents. Skimming through, she can see most of it are things from muggle historians just making speculations and spouting things that had been passed down from unuseful sources.

Nonetheless, Hermione makes her way to the front counter and purchases the book, keeping her eyes down and her hand gripped tightly on the wand in her pocket.

After the bookstore, she stops at the shop with the scammer claiming to be a psychic. She was always skeptical of seers even in school, but she knew the woman sat with her silly scarves and jewels was nothing but a muggle trying to make some easy money. The woman tries to stop Hermione while she's gathering her potion ingredients to "read her cards," but Hermione doesn't even glance in her direction.

Although the woman is clearly a fake, her potion ingredients are not. Hermione doesn't know how the odd muggle has access to them, but she doesn't care much to ask. She buys her items quickly before finally heading to the market to get groceries.

Hermione hardly eats. Nothing really has taste anymore. She just eats to survive, not for enjoyment. She has more important things to focus on. Like the book sitting in the paper bag on her arm that feels much heavier than it really was.

Her slightly hunched form starts a brisk walk back to her apparition point, ready to make dinner and make preparations to leave again.

The thought makes her slow slightly. Hermione gives herself just a moment to enjoy the noisy city one last time. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She really would miss this one.

Her frown deepens as she resumes her fast pace. She couldn't stay any longer. She was wasting time and being silly and sentimental.

Hermione could practically hear him telling her that she was being such a _girl_ right now. Her heart gave a tight squeeze and her throat closed painfully.

_Enough, Hermione. You promised yourself. You can't think about-_

Her thoughts were interrupted by a deep baritone voice. A voice she would know anywhere. A voice she hadn't heard in three years.

"Found you, Granger."

Hermione froze with tense shoulders and immediately grabbed her wand to grip it tightly. She didn't turn around to face him as she spoke.

"Nott."


	2. Hogwarts, 1996

Hermione could not believe the audacity of that boy. She has been so painfully obvious these last few years. How could he do this to her? 

She angrily stomped her way through the halls after leaving the common room. She forcefully wipes away the tears streaking down her cheeks. Ignoring the strange looks she's getting from other laughing students passing by, she makes her way to her favorite alcove. It's pretty secluded so she doesn't think she'll be found.

Hermione sits herself down, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly. She tries hard to fight back her tears, but it's a losing battle. The warm tears keep coming so she tucks even farther into herself.

_Lavender, of all people. She's snogged most of the boys in our year already! All she does is whine and cry. How can anyone stand that?_

She tries not to let herself be bitter, but she just couldn't help it. That moronic redhead is so clueless. Hermione thought she had been very clear about what she wanted, and she had hoped that Ron had wanted the same.

She sighs to herself and stares vacantly at the wall. Hermione never thought herself an angry person. She was cool and collected and logical. She was being silly.

_Ronald is just a stupid boy._

She's harshly brought out of her thoughts by the sound of loud footsteps making their way down the hall. Hearing deep laughter, her curiosity gets the best of her. Hermione untucks herself and looks down the hall to see a laughing Nott and an angry Malfoy right behind.

The two Slytherins were making their way quickly down the hall, and she can't help but wonder what they could be on about. Hermione really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone though, so she turns back into the alcove, hoping she wasn't seen. She could never be that lucky.

"Granger! Alright, there?" Hermione hears Theodore Nott's familiar voice call out to her.

She sighs and leans her head back against the wall. Hermione would ignore him if she could, but Nott doesn't take well to being ignored. Better to just say a couple words and be on her way.

She slips out of her small space and turns to the Slytherins in front of her. Nott still has a huge grin on his face as he looks at her, and Malfoy has his usual disgusted scowl covering his own.

Hermione makes an extra effort not to look at the platinum boy and makes eye contact with Nott.

"I'm just fine, thank you. I was actually just about to head back up to the tower. Goodnight," she says, taking her first step back in the direction she came.

Nott takes a step to the side to block her path and looks down on her. "Not so fast there, Granger. What are you doing so far from home base?" He asks.

Hermione holds his eyes and sharpens her glare as she speaks. "I just needed some air. I'm leaving now. I'm sure it's almost curfew."

Nott still doesn't move out of the way and opens his mouth to speak again. Before he gets the chance, he's interrupted by the blonde Slytherin behind him. Hermione had almost forgotten he was even there.

"Leave the mudblood alone, Theo. You and I have some business," Malfoy says, tone emotionless.

Hermione feels hot anger unfurl in her stomach. It didn't bother her like it used to, but it was still a nasty, foul word.

She snaps her head and glares into his cold eyes. "Sod off, Malfoy. And take your dog with you," she spits, nodding in Nott's direction.

Hermione hears a sharp laugh come from Nott, but she doesn't take her eyes off the tall boy in front of her. Malfoy keeps his face impassive and unimpressed.

"Wow, Granger. You got us. As you can tell, that really hurt my dear Theo," he says monotonously.

Hermione rolls her eyes, but can't respond as she is interrupted by another voice. _What is it with these Slytherins and interrupting?_

"Have you been crying, Granger? What happened? Potter and Weasley confess their undying love for each other?" Nott asks, and she can almost detect a hint of real concern. She tries not to focus too much on it. 

Hermione tenses at the sound of Ron's name. She doesn't want to think about him right now.

She ignores Nott's question and Malfoy's now-curious look and sidesteps both boys.

"It's curfew. Goodni-"

Hermione is cut off _once again_ , but this time, not by a voice. No, this time all she hears is a small grunt before a heavy weight is tackling her from behind. She lets out a yelp and hits the ground with a thud.

Above her, she hears a loud groan and a laugh disappearing down the hall. She manages to flip herself onto her back and looks up at grey eyes directly above her.

Malfoy is hovering over her, caging her head in with both palms on either side. His face is close enough that she can feel his hair tickle her forehead and his minty breath wafts over her face. Their legs are entangled together and her skirt has ridden up from the fall.

The warmth from his body covers her own and she feels her face heat as she stares into the face of the boy she had come to loathe over the years.

_I don't remember horrible, rude, and disrespectful Draco Malfoy ever being this handsome._

She blinks in horror at the thought and puts her hands on his chest to push him away. Right as he starts to get off her, both their heads snap to the side as they hear a gasp.

The Gryffindor and Slytherin quickly push each other away and try to smooth themselves out as they face the charms professor in front of them.

"What do you think you are _doing_?" Flitwick asks, absolutely horrified.

"No, professor! It wasn't like that! We just-" Hermione scrambles to explain.

"Quiet! Not only is it past curfew, but to be doing... doing that right here! I've never been so ashamed, Miss Granger!" Flitwick sputters. "That will be two weeks detention for both of you! Get to your houses now. You will meet me in the classroom tomorrow immediately after classes finish."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. _Two weeks detention? Just for breaking curfew with Malfoy! It wasn't even my fault!_

She holds back the scream itching at her throat and turns sharply on her heel, marching back towards the common room.

She ignores the portraits whispering as she passes, no doubt gossiping about the previous events.

_Malfoy didn't even try to argue! Just stood there like a bloody statue. Loathsome cockroach._

Hermione ignores all her friends in the common room and immediately stomps her way up the steps to her dorm.

She mumbles angrily to herself as she strips in the bathroom to take a much-needed shower. She turns the water as hot as possible and steps into the steam.

She sighs as the hot water covers her and warms her up. She always enjoys her showers and takes her time to wash. She needed to scrub the smell of mint off her skin before she went insane though. Then she could relax.

Feeling much more calm, Hermione steps out and wraps herself in the towel before heading to the mirror. She looks over her flushed skin and thick hair as she dries off, not much thinking about her appearance.

She dresses into her loose flannel pants and a tank top and walks over to her bed. She flops down face-first into the red sheets and lets out a groan.

Two weeks detention for something completely unreasonable with her worst nightmare.

_Malfoy_.

***

Right after classes finish the next day, Hermione makes her way to the charms classroom.

She had told Harry and Ron where she was going during breakfast that morning. 

Hermione had sat down at the table and immediately put her head down. She knew her two best friends were probably exchanging curious looks over her odd behavior. 

"Mione? Uh... is something the matter?" She had heard Harry ask in a soft tone. 

"Yes," she'd responded, voice muffled into the crook of her arm. 

"Would you like to expand on that?" She could hear the amusement lacing his question. 

Her head had snapped up to give him a frustrated glare. "I have detention with Malfoy for possibly the next two weeks." 

"You what?" Ron had asked from across the table, mouth full of food. 

Hermione's heart had squeezed and she refused to look at him as she answered. 

"Flitwick caught us out past curfew and we were... in a compromised position..." She trails off. 

"You and _Malfoy_? Past curfew? What are you on about?" Harry had asked in disbelief. 

She let out a sigh and gave a shake of her head. "It's a long story. I was going to head back up to the tower until he and Nott came and bothered me. Now, I have detention for something utterly ridiculous. I'm going to try to get out of it, of course." 

"Why did you even leave last night? The party was fun!" Ron had exclaimed. 

Finally, Hermione's head had whipped around to face him. "Yes, you _would_ have thought it was fun, _wouldn't_ you, Ronald?" 

She knew her tone was a little harsh when she saw Ron shrink back, but she couldn't bring herself to feel bad. Harry had reached under the table and lightly patted her knee in sympathy. 

"It's alright, Mione. Just do what you can to fight the detention," he had told her. The rest of the breakfast had continued on pretty silently. 

Her anger from the night before had turned into white-hot rage as she walked down the hallway. It was so _bloody_ unfair that she was being disciplined over a misunderstanding. She hadn't done anything wrong!

The more she thought about it, the more her casual stride turned into a forceful march. Once she reached the classroom, she slammed the door open and stomped her way in.

Hermione's fury quickly switched to embarrassment when she realized she had three sets of eyes on her. The bang of the door was still echoing through the room as she looked at the two professors and the Slytherin in front of her.

Hermione took in Flitwick's mouth that was open as if he had stopped what he was saying mid-sentence. And she noticed McGonagall's eyes were comically wide with her eyebrows practically up in her hairline.

She slid her gaze over to Draco Malfoy who was standing there with his hands in his pockets in a very casual stance. His face was in his usual blank slate, but she swore she saw a hint of a smirk brushing over his lips.

"Miss Granger, why on Earth are you attempting to break that door?" The transfiguration professor asks in a disbelieving tone.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was being so rough," Hermione stutters.

"Well, good thing you're here. We were just talking about what we should do about last night's... situation," Flitwick cuts in.

Hermione looks over to Malfoy again to see if he had anything to say on the matter. He was already looking at her as their stares meet and he just raises an eyebrow at her angry glare.

"Look, professors. It's not what you think. Malfoy and I hadn't done anything. We had just tripped and he fell on me. Nothing inappropriate was involved!" Hermione's voice gradually rises in pitch as she tries to explain.

She thought she heard a small snort from Malfoy, but dismissed it as the teachers didn't seem to notice.

"Right, Miss Granger. Even if you weren't doing anything... inappropriate, as you put it, the fact of the matter is that you were caught out past curfew very close together. You must admit that doesn't look well in your favor?"

Hermione gaped at the regal woman. She's known Hermione for practically six years now! How can she think she would stoop as low as _Malfoy_?

"As for your detention, we have been sending out supplies and potions from our personal shelves to help with the injured from the latest attacks. Madam Pomfrey and Professor Slughorn have both been very busy with classwork and the extra time for potion-making. You two are conveniently the top potions students in your year. For the next two weeks, you will meet in the potions classroom to brew healing potions or anything else that is requested of you," McGonagall explains.

Well, that's not so bad, Hermione supposes. If they had just asked, she would've done it anyway. No need to make it a punishment. The only horrendous part of this is that it would be with Malfoy.

Hermione sighs and just nods her head, easily giving up. No sense in arguing as that would probably just make it worse in the end.

She sees Malfoy slightly shake his head out of the corner of her eye and she looks up in time to see him roll his eyes.

"Is that all?" He asks in a huff.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy, that will be all. The two of you can go to the potions classroom now, and Slughorn will let you know what you'll be brewing tonight," Flitwick says with a wave of his hand.

Malfoy immediately starts for the door, not looking back to see if Hermione is following. She struggles to match his pace, but eventually falls into stride next to him so she can glare at the side of his face.

"Why didn't you tell them what really happened?" Hermione asks in a harsh tone.

Malfoy barely spares her a glance before staring ahead again. "Well, we both saw what happened when _you_ tried to argue, Granger. There was no way they were letting us go," he says breezily.

Hermione scoffs as they make their way down the steps to the dungeons.

"But this is totally unfair! We haven't even done anything aside from being a little past curfew. Maybe if you had tried to side with me then they-"

Malfoy cuts her off with a groan. "Merlin's ballsack, Granger. You whine more than a Hufflepuff." He stops and Hermione has to skid to a halt to turn and look at him. "If we both argued, it would have looked like we were covering something up. The detention could've been much worse so it's best we just suck it up, princess. It's two weeks of us basically doing homework. I thought that was a wet dream for you."

Malfoy resumes his stride that seems more like he's floating over the floor. Hermione glares at his back hating that he was most likely right.

It was bound to be a long two weeks.


	3. Scotland, 2003

"Nott."

"Miss me, Hermie?" Hermione hears the old friend ask. 

She sighs as she turns around. She leaves her face completely free of expression as she speaks. "Don't call me that. What are you doing here? I told you to never bother me again."

Hermione watches the tall brunette with guarded eyes as he takes a step closer to her. Theo lets a breath out through his nose and starts to reach his hand out to her, but seems to think better of it. 

"Come on, Hermione. That was three years ago and you were still in so much pain then. I gave you space and time, but I can't live with myself knowing you're all alone," he tells her, voice sad. 

"I'm fine. I told you I was fine then and I'm still fine now. I don't need nor want you near me. Go back and be with Pansy or something. I don't particularly care where you go, but it sure isn't going to be anywhere with me." Her voice sounds dead even to her own ears. 

Theo winces and takes another step forward. "I want to help you."

Hermione snorts unamusedly at that. "Right. And I'm Voldemort's lover," she says sarcastically. 

"Hermione, please. I really do want to help. Back then, I was still hurt and I just wanted everything to be okay. Those things I said to you... Look, he was my brother. Your plan sounded crazy, but not helping you was even crazier. I'm here now. Went through hell finding you, by the way." 

"How _did_ you find me?" 

Theo gives a one-shouldered shrug. "I think you've lost your touch. Someone working for me spotted you in the city a few weeks ago. Seems you've dropped the glamours."

Hermione narrows her eyes at him. "You have people looking for me? For how long?"

"About two years now. It took a year for me to realize how stupid I had been after our last talk. I've been trying to find you ever since," he says with genuine regret covering his voice. 

"I'm still not sure what you're doing here. What exactly do you think I need help with?" She asks, suspicious. 

"I take it you're still carrying on with your plan? You still want to bring him back?" Hermione says nothing. He nods. "I'll help you. I don't know exactly how you think you'll do this, but you're still 'the brightest witch of our age' right? If anyone can do it, it's you. I don't even care how we pull it off, I just want to be there for it. I lost him. I didn't think I would lose you too, Hermie." He chokes on a couple of words as he gives his explanation. 

Hermione thinks for a moment with glazed over eyes, staring at nothing. Suddenly, she turns around and starts walking towards the apparition point. She doesn't hear footsteps behind her, so she glances over her shoulder to see him standing there with a completely wrecked expression. 

She turns her gaze back ahead and sighs. "Come on, Theo. I have things to do," she calls out. 

She hears a gasp behind her and then quick steps following after. Theo doesn't say anything as he sidles up next to her. They walk silently side-by-side, making their way to their destination. 

Hermione focuses on the sound of the busy muggle city fading behind her, feeling just as cold as before. Theo reminds her of a time of warmth, but he isn't what she needs. She needs to complete her mission. 

They reach the secluded area, and Hermione raises an arm for him to grab and side-along with her. She tries not to wince at the unfamiliar contact and concentrates on her cottage that she would soon be leaving behind. She feels the tug in her stomach, and the two are gone with a single crack. 

***

Hermione and Theo stumble when they land on the dead leaves in front of her run-down cottage. Having no time to dwell, Hermione heads up the path, again ignoring the pile of rotting animals to her right. At least she won't have to worry about getting rid of them anymore. 

She leaves Theo behind and walks through the front door, immediately heading to her room to get prepared for the trip. She hears the Slytherin looking through her research in the kitchen area as she packs her personal belongings into her charmed suitcase. She takes extra care with the frayed towel as she packed it away. 

Dragging the luggage behind her, she steps back into the room she left Theo in. 

He looks up at her as she enters. 

"You've been really trying, huh? There's so much here, I have no idea how you know what any of it is," he tells her, looking down at the page he's holding. 

Hermione doesn't say anything as she starts gathering the scattered papers and putting them into a single stack. She rips the page from Theo's hand and puts it on top. She then whips her wand out and shrinks the stack before conjuring a rubber band and wrapping it around. She puts all her work into the front pocket of her suitcase and makes sure everything is secured.

Hermione feels Theo's eyes on her as she heads to the area of the cottage where she keeps her potion supplies. She gathers the ingredients she bought earlier and the little bit she still had and puts them all into her overused cauldron. Again, she shrinks it all and puts it with her luggage.

She then moves over to her trunk of books, opening it to put her newest purchase inside. She never bothered with bookshelves anymore. She needed to be able to leave at a moment's notice, so a trunk was obviously the best option. The trunk was charmed to be lightweight so she easily lifted it and carried it into the center of the room with the rest of her possessions.

Hermione is running through a checklist of everything she needs when gets interrupted by a loud cough.

She glances up to see the Slytherin staring at her with a quirked brow. "You're quite good at that. Just how often do you change home base?" He asks.

She breaks eye contact and fidgets with her luggage. She does that more often than not nowadays. She has to keep busy and moving or her thoughts catch up to her.

"Enough to stay hidden," she replies.

Theo stays silent for a moment as if chewing on her response.

"Have you gotten close? To figuring out what you need?" He finally asks.

Hermione squeezes her eyes shut for a moment. "Evidently not."

Apparently deciding a change of subject is needed, Theo asks, "Well, where are we going?"

Her head becomes heavy at the word "we." She had been on her own for so long now. She could hardly remember the last real interaction she had with someone. To be going somewhere with companionship made her stomach churn, but she wasn't quite sure if it was a good or bad thing. 

"I suppose I need to head back to London. It's been probably five years now, and they're bound to have the latest research."

Theo nods in acceptance. "Wherever you go, I'm with you, Hermie."

Hermione ignores that and gestures for him to come where she's standing. He slowly makes his way over to stand in front of her, seemingly unsure of what to do.

"Just hold onto the book trunk and my arm, and I'll apparate us to my old flat," she explains to him. He simply nods again.

He grips her arm softly and takes hold of the trunk handle while she grabs the suitcase.

Taking one last glance around her home for the last two years, she feels the smallest twinge of sadness. It was rare for her to feel anything at all as the cold covered it up and pushed it down, but she couldn't help the hint of emotion that overcame her. In another life, she would've liked to stay here and possibly grow old. The cottage was relatively cozy, and the muggle city was beautiful.

Unsure of how to handle the strange onslaught of feelings, she swallowed hard and turned it all off. She was logical. And logic told her to stop being silly and move on. It was time.

Hermione focuses on the man in front of her as he gives her arm a comforting squeeze. She then closes her eyes and lets the pull of apparition take over her.

***

Hermione lands more gracefully this time when she reaches her destination.

She absentmindedly rubs her arm in the spot Theo had been holding, still unfamiliar with the feeling of another person touching her. She looks around the sitting room of her very first flat emotionless.

The flat was nice, she could admit. It was the most spacious of her previous homes, having two bedrooms, a full kitchen, bathroom, and sitting room. It had obviously been left alone for quite a while, dust filling the air almost choking her. Other than that, it was still pretty pristine.

Her furniture was left exactly as she had it. A single sofa and television in the sitting room. A small dining table near the kitchen. And she was sure the beds were still made in the bedrooms.

Hermione no longer felt a connection to this place, hence the lack of emotions towards it. Her six months living here were a blur of anger, sadness, bitterness, and fights. The memory loss was most likely due to the drinking. That had stopped working way too soon.

Leaving her thoughts behind, she looks to Theo. "Your room will be there on the right. Bathroom is down the hall. You can do whatever you like now," she tells him, pointing to the doors as she speaks.

She gathers her suitcase of personal items and heads for her own room, leaving Theo and her research behind.

Opening the door, the first thing Hermione notices is that she had been right about the beds being made. The second being the photo on her old nightstand.

She hesitantly makes her way over to the image and picks up the frame. An old photo from fourth year stares back up at her. She watches as her fourteen-year-old self laughs carelessly with her two best friends.

She tilts her head to the side as she tries to remember what Ron had said that was so funny. She couldn't remember being the person in this photo. It was like watching from an outside perspective.

Hermione opens the drawer of the nightstand and carefully places the frame face-down inside. She didn't want to think about that girl anymore. She didn't know her.

Hermione cleans up her room a bit and unpacks her few possessions before heading back out into the main area.

As she enters, she notices the air is much easier to breathe and assumes Theo must have cleaned it. She also can smell something in the kitchen that causes her stomach to grumble. She didn't think she had eaten that day.

She walks over to the dining table and sees Theo sitting there eating some chinese takeout. An unopened box sat at the seat across from him.

He gives her a small smile as she sits down and begins to eat.

"Why are you here?" Hermione breaks the silence.

Theo looks at her in confusion. "I already told you-"

"No. I mean why are you here with me and not out living your life with Pansy?"

Theo's fork stops moving and he looks down with a frown. "She left me. Ran away with Zabini."

Hermione isn't sure what to say to that, not having to comfort someone for years. She's in slight disbelief at his words though. Pansy ran away with Blaise?

Attempting to break the awkward silence, Hermione says the only thing she can think of.

"I'm sorry."

Theo looks back up with a sad smile and a shrug. "Yeah, well. It is what it is, I suppose. You remember school. We weren't exactly the model couple."

Hermione just nods and continues to eat. "Thanks for getting dinner."

"Not a problem."

The silence is deafening.

"Should we talk about what all you've done so far? I'd like to look over your research so I can possibly throw out some thoughts of my own," Theo says as they clean up their mess.

"Sure. Let's get started."


	4. Hogwarts, 1996

They went three whole days in the same room barely speaking to each other at all. And Hermione was happy about it. Every day, they would meet in the potions classroom, and either Slughorn or Madam Pomfrey would give them potions to brew. They were usually pretty simple potions, so Hermione and Malfoy would each do their own on opposite sides of the room, not even a glance in each other's direction. 

Until today. 

Hermione and Malfoy were sat on their stools as usual listening to Madam Pomfrey as she told them they were going to be brewing a Skele-Gro potion. 

"Skele-Gro? You want us both to brew Skele-Gro potions? Those are slightly more advanced to brew than the ones we have been," Hermione says, her face screwed up in confusion. 

Madam Pomfrey simply lets out a puff of air and waves her hand. "Oh, come now, dear. You aren't brewing separate potions. You can just work together and easily get it done. Just leave it on the brewing table when it's complete, and you may go."

Hermione opens her mouth to argue, but Madam Pomfrey is already out the door before she gets the chance. She sighs and closes her eyes as she rubs her temple for a moment. 

Hermione jumps as she hears a deep voice from behind her. 

"Are you just going to sit there, Granger?" 

Hermione huffs before standing and making her way over to where Malfoy is gathering ingredients. 

As she sidles up next to him and takes a seat, she watches his hands as he measures everything out. He does everything with precision and caution, never fumbling or making a mistake. They glide over everything he does with seemingly practiced ease. She was used to doing projects with Ron and Harry, and those boys were constantly spilling things and knocking bottles over. It was an odd change of pace to see such languid movements. Hermione sits there mesmerized for a moment watching him open bottles and get everything prepared. 

"Can I help you with something?" 

Hermione looks up, startled, and sees him staring at her with a curious look on his face. Her cheeks suddenly heat at getting caught staring and she quickly looks away, grabbing the instructional sheet. 

"Okay, so we need to crush the Chinese Chomping Cabbage and put it in first, letting it sit alone for six minutes. Then we can put in the pufferfish one at a time at three-minute intervals," Hermione states, eyes never leaving the page. 

"I know how to brew Skele-Gro, Granger. I don't need the instructions word-for-word," Malfoy tells her, already putting ingredients into the cauldron.

Hermione looks up, surprised upon hearing those words. "You've brewed Skele-Gro before? Why would you ever need to?"

Malfoy rolls his eyes but otherwise keeps his face impassive as he responds. "I didn't need to. I just wanted to. I happen to like brewing potions, so I do it in my free time during the summer holiday." 

Again, Hermione is left completely surprised. Not only does Malfoy enjoy doing something rather educational, but he's admitting to it. And to her, of all people. 

Malfoy looks up at her from the cauldron when he doesn't hear her say anything in response. "What? No snarky remark, Granger?"

"No. I'm rather impressed, actually. I thought I was the only one who actually likes brewing potions. Snape makes it pretty miserable, but if you ignore that, then it's quite fun," Hermione admits with a shrug, meeting his gaze head-on. 

Malfoy narrows his eyes at her as if trying to find the catch to her nice words. Apparently finding nothing, Malfoy returns his eyes to the potion. 

Hermione watches as his lips quirk up into a somewhat-cruel smirk. 

"Except you can't practice brewing at home, can you? Not in front of your muggles."

Hermione rolls her eyes as she hands him the scarab beetles. "You can't be civil for even one moment, Malfoy?" 

Malfoy lets out a snort at that, stirring the bubbling liquid. "I don't have to be civil with you, Granger."

Hermione stays silent as she crushes the fanged geranium. 

"Aww, Granger. Did you want to have a nice conversation with me? It must be so hard, surrounding yourself with morons and having no intelligent discussion," he says with mock-sympathy. 

Hermione snaps her head up and jumps off her stool, taking a large step over to the Slytherin. Malfoy raises his eyebrows as she stands barely an inch from his chest. 

"Stop talking about my friends that way, Malfoy. I'd be happy to deliver slap number two to your precious, pure-blood face. Now move over and let me stir." She gives a slight push to his chest to prove her point. 

Malfoy stands there for a moment blinking as if unsure of what just happened as Hermione begins stirring. Suddenly his eyes become clear, and he gives her a glare before sitting down in the seat Hermione was previously occupying. 

Hermione allows herself a secret smile, realizing she just won that little squabble. 

They sit there in silence for about thirty minutes, having just put in the final ingredient. The last step was to let it simmer for another fifteen minutes, making sure it doesn't change colors. 

Hermione was just about to attempt to break the awkward silence when she hears the large wooden door swing open with a bang. She and Malfoy look over to see Theo Nott walking in, sporting a healing black-eye and a devilish grin. 

"Well, hello," he says, making his way over to the occupied table. 

"What are you doing here, Theo?" Malfoy asks with narrowed eyes. 

"What? I can't come visit my best friend while he's in miserable detention?" He asks in fake horror, putting a hand on his chest. 

"No." 

"Fine. You caught me. I'm here to flirt with Granger and steal her heart from Potter and Weasley," Theo says, giving Hermione a seductive smile. 

Hermione, having been silent until this point, snorts at that, but she can't help the smile that slides up onto her lips. 

"I don't know, Nott. We come from such different worlds. It would never work out," Hermione sighs dramatically, deciding to play along. 

Theo lets out a loud laugh, throwing his head back. 

Hermione hears Malfoy let out a puff of air and looks over to see him mumbling into the cauldron as he checks it over. She tries to hear what he says, but Theo's loud laughter covers everything. 

"You know, Granger. I think last names are far too formal," Theo says once he recovers. 

"Well, you could always just call me Hermione," she replies with a quirked brow. 

"No. That's too long. I was thinking Hermie." Malfoy looks up upon hearing that and sits back in his chair, watching the exchange in silence.

Hermione screws her face up in disgust. " _Hermie_? No, that's awful!"

"No, no! It makes sense. It's short for Hermione and for a hermit crab. And you sort of act like one. You know, hardly leaving the library, keeping to yourself, et cetera."

"That's so rude." 

"Oh come on, Hermie, you love it."

"I don't. Don't call me that."

"Too late. It's stuck forever."

"Theodore Nott, you are _not_ calling me Hermie. That is so-"

"Can you both please shut up?" Malfoy finally cuts in. 

Theo and Hermione look over to see him putting ingredients away and diminishing the fire from under the cauldron. 

"It's done?" Hermione asks in confusion.

"Yes. While you were busy messing around with that idiot, I finished the final stirring." Malfoy stands up from his seat and looks over at Theo expectantly. "Well, we're done here, Theo. Let's go." 

Theo hops off his own seat, and walks around to Hermione, putting up his hand. Hermione looks at it in confusion, before realizing he wanted her to grab it to get off her stool. 

She playfully rolls her eyes and pushes it away, stepping down and straightening her skirt. 

The three walk out of the room together, walking down the hall. 

"What did you do to your eye?" Hermione asks Theo, no longer able to hold in the question. 

Theo glances at her and then at Malfoy who has the hint of a smirk on his face.

"Draco dearest punched me after the event that led you both to detention," he tells her in amusement.

Hermione's eyes widen in shock and she leans forward a bit to get a good look at Malfoy. "You _punched_ him?"

Malfoy barely glanced at her before responding. "Yes. He deserved it. He's the only reason we're in detention right now."

Theo rolls his eyes playfully. "Oh, please. He's just mad that he li-"

"Va te faire foutre, Nott." Malfoy spits. 

Hermione trips over her own feet and the two Slytherins look over at her with furrowed brows. 

"You can speak French?" Hermione asks in shock. 

"We're purebloods, Granger. We learn that at the same time we learn English as we grow up," Malfoy explains haughtily. 

"So you're fluent then?"

The three students stop at the end of the hall near the stairs as this will be the place they separate to go to their respective houses. 

"Why, yes we are, Granger. Do you find that sexy?" Theo asks with a wolfish grin. 

"Oh, shut up, Theo. Go find your girlfriend," Malfoy says, shoving his friend's back. 

"Bye, Hermie. Tu vas me manquer," Theo says before turning to the left and leaving for his house.

Hermione turns to Malfoy and raises an eyebrow when she sees him watching her. He easily smooths his features and with a nod, follows Theo down the same hall. Hermione walks up the stairs, feeling very confused, albeit amused, with what just happened in the last twenty minutes. 

***

The next morning, Hermione dresses quickly and goes down to breakfast with Ron, Harry, and irritatingly, Lavender. 

She sits next to Harry and half-heartedly listens to his plan to follow Malfoy around. All she can really focus on is not vomiting her breakfast back up as she watches Ron and Lavender tongue-fight. She shudders upon hearing a small sigh leave Lavender. Her appetite completely evaporates and she pushes her plate away. 

"He just seems a bit odd this year, don't you think? He hardly ever comes at us anymore to pick fights." She hears Harry saying. 

Finally deciding to be a good friend, she focuses completely on him. "I don't know, Harry. Maybe he's just maturing? He still called me a mud- you know what the other day. Not quite out of the ordinary for him." She shrugs. 

Harry shoves egg in his mouth and chews for a moment with furrowed brows. 

"I don't know, Mione. Something is just _off_. I'm gonna keep an eye on him."

They all finish eating and the four Gryffindors head to their first class. As they walk down the hall, just chatting about nothing particularly important, Hermione hears someone call out. 

"Oi, Hermie!"

Hermione closes her eyes and groans before stopping and turning around. Her best friends stop too and look back in confusion. 

"Who's Hermie?" Ron asks. 

Hermione doesn't get a chance to respond as she watches Theo, Malfoy, and Zabini walk towards them. 

"Want me to rescue you, Hermie?" Theo asks with a smirk. 

"I'm fine, Theo. Thank you." Hermione turns around and grips Harry's elbow to try to get him to move. 

The Slytherins don't interrupt again, but Hermione can still hear their footsteps behind her as they all walk to class. 

"Since when are you close to Nott? And what's a hermie?" Harry asks her softly. Hermione just shakes her head. 

"We're not and please don't ask."

***

"Tell me something in French."

"Vous êtes ennuyeux," Malfoy says with a sarcastic smile. 

Hermione narrows her eyes. "I feel like that was something rude. Tell me a secret or something. I promise I won't look it up."

Malfoy snorts and rolls his eyes. "Right. Hermione Granger, Gryffindor know-it-all, isn't going to translate my deep, dark secret."

"I resent that. I always keep my promises."

Malfoy looks up from the potions book and openly studies her. He runs his eyes over every inch of her body where she's sitting on her stool. Hermione feels her body flush and she quickly crosses her arms over her chest. His gaze finally lands on her own with an unreadable expression in his eyes. 

"Je pense que vous êtes belle." He says at last. 

"That's your secret?" Hermione asks, genuinely shocked that he answered. 

Malfoy just nods and returns to his work at the cauldron. It was their fifth day of detention and they had to do another potion together. They had been silently working for a while before Hermione deciding to start a conversation out of pure boredom. 

"You were right. Yesterday, I mean. About wanting to have intelligent discussion." Malfoy snaps his head up and looks at her with furrowed brows. "Now, before you say anything about my friends, I'll have you know that I love them very much. They are really the only reason I get out and do fun things every once in a while." 

"But?" Malfoy asks with a hint of a smirk gracing his lips. 

"But... I'm usually the logical one. I have to have the answers most of the time. Sometimes, I don't have anyone to bounce ideas off of when trying to figure something out. It can be... frustrating."

Malfoy leans all the way back and lets his smirk break into a wide grin. "Well, well, well. Granger, I think you just admitted that your friends are idiots." 

Hermione scoffs. "I most certainly did not say that. Ugh, I shouldn't have said anything at all. Let's just go back to being completely silent." She says, picking her book back up. 

"Well, you can't take it back now, Granger. If you want to talk to someone as smart as me, just say so." 

Hermione rolls her eyes and stays quiet. 

"How about you pick an intelligent topic that you can't talk about with your morons and we'll discuss it?" Malfoy asks after a moment. 

It was Hermione's turn to narrow her eyes at him. "That's an oddly nice thing to do. What's the catch?"

Malfoy scoffs. "You're right. We should just work in silence. Try to be civil for two seconds..." He mumbles the last sentence, but Hermione still caught it. 

"Fine. Do you know anything about arithmancy?" 

"Of course I do, Granger. What am I, a muggle?" Malfoy rolls his eyes. 

Deciding to ignore that last part, Hermione immediately jumps into the topic. She absolutely adored arithmancy but was utterly alone in those feelings the majority of the time. The more she talked about it without someone groaning in response, the more excited she got, completely forgetting who she was speaking to. 

Malfoy didn't respond much. Every once in a while, he would cut in to talk about a new theory or research he had heard about, but mostly just let her ramble on. He never cut her off with a rude remark or made fun of her excitement. He sat there, listened, and responded appropriately. An intelligent discussion. 

The potion finally brewed, they halted their conversation and cleaned up the ingredients in silence. Hermione's small smile never left her face the entire time they walk together down the hallway and as they separated with a nod from him and a wave from her. She would swear she saw the smallest of smiles gracing his pretty lips. 

Hermione couldn't remember when she stopped seeing those lips as foul and when she started wondering if they were soft. 


	5. London, 2003

Hermione stares up at the dark ceiling in complete silence. 

She knew it was past four in the morning already, but she had yet to get a wink of sleep. This wasn't unusual for her, but it was very irritating. The only sounds around were the creaks of her flat settling and the birds outside her window just barely beginning to wake up. 

She counted as high as she could in her head before getting lost and starting again. Most of the time she would do that maybe three or four times before eventually falling asleep. 

But not tonight. 

She knew it was pointless lying here, getting nothing done when she had such big plans today. Hermione heaves a sigh and brushes the comforter off her body, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The cold of the floor on her bare feet doesn't startle her. If anything, it just makes her feel more awake. 

She raises her arms in a quick stretch over her head before standing up and making her way to the door. She tries to be quiet as she makes her way over to the kitchen, knowing Theo would still be asleep. It's not like it's hard to stay quiet for her. The floor wouldn't even groan under her weight. 

Once in the kitchen, Hermione begins to make herself a cup of tea, hoping for just that smallest burst of extra caffeine. She puts a silencing charm on the kitchen once her kettle is on the stove and waits for the water to heat. 

Her eyes are vacant as she thinks through her plan for the day once more. She and Theo had been staying in the flat for just over a week now going over all the research she already had. They hardly had any real conversations during this time. He would read her research, ask some questions, and give some insight. Strictly business. 

He had no idea what Hermione was planning today though. He would try to convince her not to go through with it, and that was such a waste of time. She knew what needed to be done. 

The screaming of the kettle breaks her out of her thoughts and she quickly turns off the heat and makes her hot cup of tea. Mug in hand, she makes her way over to the living area and sits on the sofa. Theo always woke up at five or so to go on a run, so she knew that would be the best time to leave. So she waits. 

Eventually, Hermione looks up upon hearing the door down the hall open with a creak. She watches silently as Theo makes his way out of the bedroom, fully clothed. He still hadn't noticed her as he grabs a water bottle from the half-empty fridge and starts to make his way to the front door. 

As he rounds the corner near the sofa, he jumps upon finally seeing the small body watching him. 

"Merlin, Hermione! You're so creepy! Why didn't you say anything?" Theo exclaims with a hand on his chest. 

Hermione just shrugs and takes a small sip of her tea. 

Seemingly realizing what time it is, Theo furrows his brows. "Why are you awake so early? I never see you on the way out."

Hermione looks away and focuses on the window to her right covered in morning dew. "Couldn't sleep."

"Well, do you wanna run with me?"

Hermione turns to face him with a deadpanned expression. 

"Thought not. I'll be back in an hour or so and we can get some breakfast. Maybe we can leave this stuffy flat for once," Theo suggests with a slightly scrunched nose. 

"Sure." 

Theo just nods and heads for the door again, quietly closing it as he leaves. 

Hermione sits for a moment and wonders if he misses the old her. The one who gave him laughter and comfort. The one who could actually hold a conversation with him. She couldn't say he didn't try. The first couple days, she could tell he was trying to fall back into their old ways. The jokes and the easiness of it all. 

But Hermione couldn't do it. She was sure the muscles of her face were so unused that a smile would be painful. It sent a pang of guilt through her heart. If she could just complete her mission, maybe everything would return to what it once was. It would be a lie to say she didn't sometimes miss it. 

Taking a final sip of her tea, she sets her mug down on the coffee table and quickly makes her way back into her bedroom. She throws open her wardrobe and pulls her clothes out, making sure to dress warm as she knew the Forbidden Forest could get quite chilly. 

She throws her hair up into her usual tight bun and slips on her boots before heading out the door in a hurry. She heads over to the dining table covered in stacks of papers and pulls out the page she planned to use today. Glancing over it one last time, she folds it up and stuffs it into the pocket of her jacket. 

Hermione glances around one last time and does a mental checklist in her head before exiting the quiet flat. 

***

Hermione's feet land with a thud on the dead leaves just outside the Forbidden Forest. Disoriented from the far apparition, she closes her eyes for a moment as her head spins. Finally feeling a little more sure of herself, she looks up and glances around. 

Hermione knew better than to apparate to the side of the forest near the school. She didn't want to risk seeing someone she knew from before. She didn't even want to see the school itself. Too painful. 

She slowly makes her way past the treeline and into the dark woods. She had checked over and over again to make sure she knew where she was going. She walked well over thirty minutes straight into the heart of the forest, searching. She had just begun to lose hope when she saw it. 

A unicorn. 

Hermione takes a deep breath and watches for a moment as the majestic creature grazes. The barely-risen sun reflects beautifully off its shimmering hide. 

Careful not to interrupt its peace, Hermione slowly and quietly takes the page out of her pocket and unfolds it. She glances down at the sheet just to double-check she has the wording and wand movement memorized. 

She lifts her wand and first conjures a small flask before straightening her arm and pointing the tip of her wand towards the stunning animal. She murmurs the incantation and the bright purple curse shoots out and hits the unicorn. 

Hermione winces as the creature gives out a painful screech and falls with a loud thud. She then watches the deep wound on its side begin to form and open. She holds the flask out and using her wand, she forces the blood out of the abrasion and into the glass in a steady stream through the air. 

Once she gets all the blood she needs, she immediately stops the curse and hunches over to vomit what little she had in her stomach. Regaining her composure after several minutes of dry-heaving, Hermione straightens and lifts her wand once more.

She points it at the injured beast and performs a quick healing charm to take away its pain and close the wound. She would've performed the counter-curse, but she knew that would require her to give the blood back. And she couldn't do that. 

The unicorn lies there for a moment taking deep breaths as the pain slowly subsides and the tension releases from its muscles. Satisfied, Hermione holds the flask up to her line of sight and lets out the breath she didn't even realize she was holding. 

After one last glance at the creature before her, Hermione stuffs both the page and the flask into her pocket and turns away, heading back where she came from to apparate. 

***

Still feeling nauseous from before, Hermione had a less than graceful landing outside the door to her flat. She groans as she hits the ground, one arm wrapped around her churning stomach. 

Apparently hearing the commotion, the door swings open, and Theo gasps upon seeing a very ill Hermione lying on the ground near his feet. 

"Hermione, what's wrong? Where have you been?" Theo asks as he carefully picks her up bridal style. 

Hermione's eyes stay squeezed shut as she feels the couch beneath her suddenly. 

"Hermione! Why were you gone for so long? What's happened?" Theo exclaims above her. 

Hermione groans one last time before opening her eyes. She stares up into Theo's concern-filled ones for a moment as she lets the nausea pass. 

"Had to get an ingredient," she says at last. 

Theo scoffs and finally leans back from where he was hovering. "Then why do you look like you're about to be sick?"

"Far apparition."

Theo watches her as she sits up and summons a bottle of water, taking a big swig. "Where did you go?"

Hermione studies him for a moment, wary of his response. "Forbidden forest."

"What could you possibly have gotten from there, Hermione? That's dangerous! I could've gone with you," he tells her with wide eyes. 

Hermione just sighs and grabs the flask from her pocket, holding it out to him. He takes it with furrowed brows and looks up at her questioningly. 

"Unicorn blood."

No response. 

Theo stares at her with his mouth wide open for a moment and then looks down at the glass before setting it down on the coffee table calmly. 

"Hermione. What in Merlin's name could you need that for? Don't tell me you-"

"I didn't. I didn't kill it."

Theo heaves a sigh of relief and lifts two fingers to his temple and rubs soothing circles. "But why?"

Hermione takes out her sheet of research from her pocket and hands it to him before standing and walking over to the cluttered dining table. Grabbing the green book she last purchased, she makes her way back over to Theo who is still reading over the page in confusion. 

She opens _The Mythological Mystery of the Resurrection Riddle_ and flips to the bookmarked page. 

"Here." She points to the highlighted passage. "Back in ancient Greece, they had this ritual for the god of resurrection. Legend says that he used to feed on unicorn blood. Maybe if I complete this ritual and offer the blood as a sacrifice, he will give me a favor in return." 

Hermione watches Theo's eyes move across the paragraph quickly. He looks up at her with sorrow-filled eyes. 

"Hermie..."

"Stop. Don't do that. You said you wanted to help," she says with anger filling her voice. 

"I know, but this is a bit of a reach, don't you think? No one has used magic or done rituals like this in centuries. There's no saying what could happen, Hermie." He reaches out and softly places his hand on her own. 

Hermione rips her hand away and stands up quickly. " _Enough_. I'm doing this with or without you, Nott." 

Theo sighs and looks like he wants to beg her to reconsider. But he doesn't. 

"Fine."

***

"Are you sure this is right?"

Hermione ignores him as she adds the final touches to her circle of chrysanthemums. She had already explained to him that they were the traditional flower of death. 

She steps into the middle of the circle and summons the flask of blood into her hand. Theo stands off to the side and watches as she pours the blood onto the floor into the center of the circle before using her wand to cut a slice into her own hand and letting some drip and mix with the unicorn's. 

Hermione gets down on her knees and starts muttering the ancient incantation. She knew there was a possibility it wouldn't work. A really high possibility. But she had to try. 

She loses track of how many times she murmurs the words before something happens. Her gut twists in pain and she lets out a cry as the mixed blood starts to glow. She hears Theo gasp from where he is standing and she prays he won't interrupt. Not when something is about to happen for once. 

The sounds around her fade and her vision turns white. She has no idea of what is happening around her anymore as she is surrounded by a hot light. 

" _NO_."

It's screamed into her head. A loud, deep voice. It echoes and rings around her mind and suddenly she's pushed. A heavy weight lands on her chest and harshly shoves her out of the circle. 

For a moment, she can't breathe. She can't move. Slowly, the white in her eyes fades and the pain in her stomach leaves. She blinks and sees Theo kneeling over her, face pale. 

"Hermione! Hermione, can you hear me? Hermione, please!"

"I'm fine," she manages to croak. 

Theo closes his eyes and grips her shoulders, bringing her up into his chest, squeezing her tightly. 

Hermione looks over his shoulder at the spot she was just moments ago. The blood has completely vanished from the floor and all the flowers are wilted. She doesn't understand what went wrong. She'll have to research some more about it. 

She feels herself being lifted from the ground and brought over to the sofa once again. She watches as Theo paces across the carpet in front of her. 

"You are never doing that again." He doesn't stop pacing. 

"Theo, I will do what I have-"

"No! You could've died! You didn't see what you looked like. I really thought you..." He cuts himself off and closes his eyes, finally stopping his pacing. 

Hermione watches uneasily as he comes where she's lying and crouches in front of her. He grips her hand tightly, genuine fear in his eyes. 

"Hermie, _please_. You're only twenty-four. You still have a whole life ahead of you. I bet the ministry would still take you in a heartbeat. He wouldn't want you to be like this. Throwing your entire existence away for him." 

"How _dare_ you. I can't exist, as you so well put, without him. I'm not throwing anything away, Nott. What I'm doing is purely selfish. I am doing all this for _me_. So I can breathe again. So I can feel warmth again." She pushes his hand away and stands up from the couch so she can look down on him. "Don't you _ever_ ask me to stop again or I'll leave. And next time you won't find me."

She stomps away, summoning her book into her hand as she pushes open her bedroom door, closing it again with a slam. 

Hermione points her wand at her bed and explodes her pillow, sending feathers flying throughout the room. Feeling no relief, she rips her hair from its tight bun and runs her fingers over her scalp, trying to ease the angry headache building. 

She takes a deep, calming breath and sits on the armchair in the corner of her room. She opens the emerald green book and rips out the page that had the useless ritual on it, crumbling the sheet and throwing it. 

Time for the next plan. 


End file.
